sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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