she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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