Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
