: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
