I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
