I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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