butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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