And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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