doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I love having hate sex.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
