He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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