and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
