he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
