Non-Jews are for practice
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
