I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
