you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
