its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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