I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
only if we run a train.
done.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize