i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
