we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
