do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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