i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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