he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
