So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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