I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
