i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
