doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
