Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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