i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
