thus making me awesome and them whores
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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