wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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