To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
NoShamevember. You game?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
