hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it glows. i had to have it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize