You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm both gender and math confused
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
