so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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