he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
