so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
