i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
