I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize