I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
