The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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