Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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