I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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