she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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