All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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