butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
