Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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