Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
