I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
