Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
