we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
