I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We are two peas in an std pod
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
