i need an iv and a liver transplant
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
