I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
