After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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