she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
