Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
In America we eat man semen.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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