She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
