Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
