I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
