You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
