I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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